I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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