I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
