you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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