No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
