I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
