I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
