Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
