I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
