mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
