If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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