When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize