alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this will be a night to untag.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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