did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
