I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
