You really coming over, don't trick.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
