Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
