Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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