I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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