Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the raccoons are back...
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