I want to stick my p in your. b.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
