he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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