apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
