Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
