jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
