you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
