walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
