Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
