Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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