Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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