If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize