Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We need to get me chipped asap
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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