Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
