its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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