Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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