Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
