If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
