Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
