i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
