He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
