is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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