not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Someone came in the potted fern
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
