This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Alive.
So much puke
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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