Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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