We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
