rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
