we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
