Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
