Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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