After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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