another moral hangover. fuck.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
