you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
