If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
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