I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't deserve a penis
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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