So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
