Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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