we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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