so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
