This girl is more easily done than said...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
