My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
