What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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