If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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