This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
