Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
