I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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