Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Randomize
