But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
