I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
