Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
