he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
