It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
