So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
ttyl tear gas
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
