just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
