she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
