so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
