Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
