He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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